Sub-Lt. Jeffrey Delisle of the Royal Canadian Navy was sentenced on January 10th to twenty years in the hoosegow and a fine of $111,000 CDN for passing naval secrets to the Rooskies. The PLF has recently completed its own investigation into secret espionage activity in the Village of Parkdale.
During our investigation the PLF secret investigative team of Assistant Commander Ron and Patti, a waitress at a local Parkdale establishment were able to capture a top secret conversation between a high official in the Chinese Ministry of State Security (MSS) and an important operative of the Russian Intelligence Directorate (GRU).
We are pleased to be able to provide a transcript of this shocking conversation to the Canadian people.
MSS Victor, nice to see you, huh.
GRU You too, Lee.
MSS So you buying Canadian now.
GRU We shop the world as befitting the importance of our nation’s
MSS You buy from us, huh.
GRU Only from approved sources.
MSS I approve all your sources. Give you good deal, huh? It’s okay I see you
blushing. You get any good stuff from Sub-Lieutenant?
GRU Let’s just say that the transactions with the naval officer were most beneficial.
MSS How much you pay?
GRU I think we paid fair market value.
MSS You think so. You buy from me I give you discount. You boss think you
GRU Why would I buy Canadian goods from China?
MSS Listen Victor, inside Oval Office there a little string. President Obama pull
little string Prime Minister Harper jump up say, woof, woof. Okay.
GRU I think it’s fair to say that Washington has a great deal of influence in Ottawa.
MSS He pull another string Harper roll over play dead.
GRU Perhaps an exaggeration.
MSS Okay no exaggeration who own Canada?
GRU Certainly the US is Canada’s largest trading partner.
MSS Okay next question, who own the US?
GRU What’s your point, Lee?
MSS Everybody know China own US, so US own Canada, next time you in market for
information you come to me I give you good deal, top notch stuff.
MSS Is all about Arctic resources Victor. They ours, huh. You wait and see.
GRU I don’t think so.
MSS Confucius say: A man only as faithful as his appetites. You want another latte?